Discovering Harmony: Using Family Constellations for Inner Healing
What is Family Constellations
For anyone who has never heard of Family Constellations, or Systemic Constellations, Family Constellations is a therapeutic method that goes beyond the surface of individual experiences. Originating from the groundbreaking work of German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger, this approach views the family as an energetic system with interconnected members, spanning multiple generations. At its core, Family Constellations aims to bring to light hidden dynamics, unresolved traumas, and ancestral patterns that may be impacting our lives in ways we might not fully comprehend.
Family dynamics, shaped by love, conflicts, and loyalties, often carry hidden influences that impact our choices, behaviors, and relationships. This blog post serves as a guide to unraveling the mysteries of Family Constellations, offering insights into how this approach can illuminate the hidden aspects of our family systems.
What to expect
I went into this having no clue what Family Constellations were. Nevertheless, I decided to go to the workshop as a representative.
This was the recommendation by the facilitator to those of us who had never experienced this type of work before. A representative is someone who participates and stands in the family constellation as a representative of a family member. For those who wish to receive their constellation, you are the one doing the work on resolving traumas and healing generations past.
When someone receives their constellation, they are asked about their life; their parents, siblings, experiences, in order to understand the dynamics that are at play.
Most importantly, they are asked what it is they want to work on healing. Whether it be relationships with parents, children, siblings, business, whatever it is, FC understands that all blockages are a result of a trauma or story in the family line.
Knowing this, the facilitator asks the participant to pull representatives into their constellation.
This is where the healing lies.
It’s a this point, that the true catharsis happens. In order to heal, we must be able to feel. Feel the emotions that come up when we are presented with our constellation, with the hurts, with the experiences, with our inner child…and give to ourselves, what others were not able to give to us, what others were not taught to give to us.
Benefits of Family Constellations
Family Constellations allows you to confront your past in a way that allows for the full expression and allowing of what was. It allows us to say the words we coouldn’t say, it allows us to confront the feelings we tried to hide, and it allows us to face our experiences without the intensity of guilt, blame, fear, anger, or sadness that we might feel if we were standing in front of our family.
And while the emotions that came out are real, there is something less terrifying about having representatives subbing in for your family.
As a representative, you experience the dynamics of the constellation.
As a representative, you participate in the healing of the other person.
As a representative, you allow for healing of yourself because the truth is, we all share similar threads of hurt, pain, trauma, and experiences.
We like to think that we are different - that no one understands us or what we’ve been through.
The truth is, we all wish for the same things from our family. We wish to be seen, heard, loved, and valued.
We wish to feel safe in our constellation.
While the work is heavy and intense and emotional, to be able to participate in someone elses healing, it nothing short of magic.
Where to find Family Constellations facilitators
I took this workshop at a yoga center in San Diego, Sojourn Healing Collective.
This is one of my favorite places for healing work, as they have a lot of facilitators and workshops covering a variety of healing topics.
You can find more information on them here: https://www.sojournsd.com/
The facilitator for the workshop I attended was Marine Selenee. You can find her website here: https://www.marineselenee.com/
There are also books you can find online, and if you are looking to go directly to the source, Bert Hellinger, German psychotherapist pioneered the work on family constellations, and whose books can be found online.
As I came to the end of Marine’s book, Connected Fates, Separate Destinies, I was left with the following quote:
“Healing is a process, a journey: a path you can’t walk without confronting your shadows…Choosing to set out on a path of healing is a bold act of defiance. It’s optimism in the face of fear. It’s an act of faith itself. It’s an embrace of the unknown, of the future. A future you get to write.”
10/10 highly recommend.